Wednesday, 28 January 2015

Snobby sale assistants: the lipstick-on-teeth incident


I have this unwritten personal rule...if someone has lipstick on their teeth you tell them. They could be your best friend, your mum, your best friend, a shop assistant or some person on your bus....you tell them. You tell them in a non condescending way, add a 'pffft, it happens', you smile, laugh and move on.

 You help your sisters out! After all, it happens! Unless you constantly, constantly check every minute you are unlikely to avoid this and will probably experience it at least once. You try a new lipstick that is sticky, you rush in the morning, you eat or drink and forget to check...it just happens. No biggie!

Lately I was in Canberra and went out to a light industrial area to check out a certain vintage store. When I was there I unknowingly had lipstick on my teeth, how dare I! When I was there I was treated terribly, they made fun of me in front of my boyfriend while I was in the dressing room, they tutted, rolled their eyes and laughed. They were middle aged women who made me feel like I wasn't part of the club, silly little girl playing with makeup. They also did not allow me to walk around with clothes because I 'might steal them'.

I love vintage and I love vintage shopping. I usually find store owners lovely and as someone who spent years in retail I try to be the best customer I can. I always try and think from the assistants perspective, but I also know that you are NEVER to be mean to your customers. It really threw me because I've always felt the vintage community was accepting, but recently I've felt that I'm just not 'cool' enough for this club.

It may seem like an overreaction to this incident, but to me telling someone they have lipstick on their teeth is like telling someone something is stuck to their shoe or have something in their hair....its common courtesy and something that is just good manners. It surprised me that adult women who were likely to have adult children were so immature.


Let's all strive to support each other and do to others what we would want to be done for us. 

Have you had any bad experiences in the vintage community or in vintage stores?

Alecia xx

10 comments:

  1. hi :) i'm beth, i'm 19 and i live in the UK. just remember, it's the shop assistants that should feel uncool, not you! how rude to have laughed at you. i often feel self conscious wearing a bright coloured lipstick like red, as if i'm not cool enough too. but you know, we shouldn't feel like that! you always look fabulous in the vintage clothes you post - so don't let anybody stop you x

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    1. Hi Beth! Yeah, I feel better about it now but I was kind of upset about it at the time. It's just reeeeealllly bad customer service for one and secondly its so rude! I felt super self conscious when I started wearing lipstick too, it really DOES feel like everyone is looking at you. Whenever I feel like that I just tell myself that most people don't notice, you only notice because its different on you.

      Thank you, thats so lovely! :)

      xx

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  2. I've met a lot of older vintage shop owners who make me feel very out of place in the community. Most of them don't even wear vintage clothing so I don't think that they love the fashion, they're just in it for the money. I often feel like they think I am just a silly little girl. That being said I have met heaps of lovely vintage shop owners who really care about what they do so it's not all bad but I completely understand what you are talking about.

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    1. Yeah I have noticed that a lot of people selling it don't actually wear it and I often feel quite out of place in those types of shops. I think that if you wear vintage you are probably more likely to point things out because its more likely they've happened to you. I am glad I am not the only one who feels that way, I always feel so silly and clueless and always feel I am doing something wrong!

      Oh yes, me too! Don't get me wrong, I've been to plenty of lovely shops. I have a few regulars I go to and they are all lovely. Saying that they do tend to be the shops where the assistants dress in vintage. I guess it does really come down to passion for what they are doing and personality.

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  3. This sounds horrible! I'm sure it's not limited to the vintage community though, it sounds like a bunch of people who were particular idiots - and they can be found anywhere! Mind you, I don't venture into vintage shops too often and when I do I always think I don't look well-dressed enough!! But I think that's just me ;) sorry you had such a miserable experience, but don't let it put you off vintage shops for sure! CC x

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    1. That certainly is true! Idiots! Idiots EVERYWHERE!

      When I am going into vintage shops I always feel I have to look super well dressed too. Oh I wont :) I love vintage too much to let that stop me! Thankfully where I live there are quite a few lovely stores with lovely, friendly people. Sometimes you just happen over a dud, but hey thats life! :)

      xx

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  4. Oh boy, that's really nasty. I'm sorry to hear that that was your experience! I have got to say, I completely agree with you that the polite thing to do is to help your fellow ladies out, and even more so if they are trying out vintage style for themselves! There is nothing worse than turning off someone from something they want to try due to bad manners...

    Personally, I haven't had any bad experiences yet, and I'm glad. :) I hope that doesn't happen to you again. ❤

    xox,
    bonita of Lavender & Twill

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    1. Exactly! I feel very strongly about pointing things out like that. After all, if I had loo paper stuck in my knickers I would rather someone tell me in a public bathroom than figure it out for myself when I got home. Its also horrible to think that people like that may discourage people from trying new styles such as red lipstick or vintage in general.

      Thats wonderful! I think I just hit the wrong store on the wrong day :P

      xx

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  5. Ugh, they sound awful! I buy mostly from opshops where the people are usually friendly and cheerful (so, yay!) but the comments that put me off the vintage community are usually the ones on the (quite rare) days that I have put in some effort to do vintage hair to go with my outfit. I recently had a woman say that women that dress like me (and her, I think she was hinting!) are so much more "elegant, classy, and modest" than others who "just dress trashy" .... uhhhh, no thanks, I'm not here for using my looks to put down other people! I don't mind receiving compliments (who doesn't! ~___^) but I think there is a way to phrase it so it doesn't put other people down and create the sense of an intolerant community.

    I'm totally with you on the lipstick rule, btw! And I think it applies to other things, like people telling you when you have a string coming off your clothes or (embarrassment city!) your skirt riding up. I'm usually a hot mess, so I always appreciate other ladies letting me know how to fix myself up a bit ~____^

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    1. I love opshops for that reason! People in opshops aren't very elitist and they are usually lovely and helpful. Ooooh! That makes my blood boil! I HATE it when people pass off a bitchy remark as a compliment. Its mean and hurtful. I think we all have our personal preferences for dress and we shouldn't use it as a way to feel superior.

      Exactly! I don't have enough time to be Dita Von Teese perfect 24/7, if something is off let me know. I need all the help I can get!

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