|This is me now. I dyed my hair! Its red/purple|
Hey guys, its been a while. This will undoubtedly be a long and personal post so grab a tea, bunker down and I will tell you whats been happening during my absence from this blog and why I changed the name.
2016 has been a very empty time on this blog, I can almost see the little spiders making their nice cozy little homes in the corners. Its alright though, they're friendly spiders...they send their kind regards. I never though I would be in the position where I am now. I had my life planned out perfectly but life never really works that way and I lost my place. When such a huge part of your identity is based on things that can change what happens when they do is that you are left with an overwhelming feeling of emptiness, like the rope tethering you to your self of self has been cut. There you are bobbing around in the universe, unsure of how you fit in.
I lost many things this year (and its not even over yet!). Its an incredibly scary thing. Living through trauma, surviving and moving on. It all sounds so heroic and is often glamourised but its really not. It's lonely, it's sad and its terrifying. When life is turned upside down on you, you are forced to either make the choice of pretending nothing has happened or building your life up from the bottom again. So thats where I've been, thats what I've been doing.
For a long time I've been unable to write a single post on here. Its not because I don't adore this community.....it was simply because when I would log on I felt like I was using someone else's account. The name, it was still me but I was no longer the person who named it. I felt like liar and a fraud because the words I was writing belonged to me, not the girl who named this blog 'sew to neverland'. I still love peter pan and I still love reading. There are many things that make me similar to the girl who started this blog in the first place. We both are essentially the same being, we both love craft, we both love reading. However we are now on fundamentally different paths in life and at vastly different time points. We have experienced different things and have different realities.
So I guess it comes time to ask 'why am I here now?' and I guess there is no easy answer. Oh gosh I have missed you all. I have missed crafting and I have missed blogging and interacting with you. It took me a while to feel like myself again, or more correctly, to find who I am now. I feel like I am at a stage where I want to do this again and I think that is what matters. An further I guess you could ask 'why am I telling you all this?' but then I already know the answer. As anyone who knows me well could tell you, there isn't a person I meet that doesn't get to know my life story. This is who I am and who I've always been.
|Dorklife 4 eva|
Thank you for sticking it out with me
Love, Alecia xx